People are afraid to merge on freeways in Los Angeles

I'm just going to do these one day of the trip at a time because I don't want to spend the time posting eight days worth of photos and writing witty commentary for each. I can only shell out so much funny at a time, nawmean?

el primer dia:

My first flight in, uhhh, 21 years. This is the view right out of Indianpolis. kewl.

Our airline was Frontier. I had never heard of this airline before. Each plane had a different animal on its wings. They had names. My favorite was Grizwald, the Grizzly Bear.

Have you ever paid $6 to watch Tom and Jerry for an hour and 55 minute flight? God, I hope not. I wish I had a printout of how many people paid to watch TV. It was also $8 for a movie. The movies consisted of Pink Panther 2 and Inkheart.

This little dewd's foot kicked my elbow the whole way from Denver to San Diego. sssssick. Instead of being an asshole to his parents, I just shoved my camera behind me and took his picture a bunch.

Seeing the Grand Canyon from a plane is like listening to a live album.

After the rental car company made me sign a bunch of paperwork that I had no idea what any of it meant, we spent our first day at the SD Zoo. It's massive at 100 acres and is one of the best in the world.

When it's hot out, the animals just tend to chill like this meerkat. I wondered how many kids said that this dude was Timon. Or do kids even know who that is anymore?

The zoo boasts the most koalas outside of Australia. They aren't in cages at all because they're too lazy and love eucalyptus too much to go anywhere. I like koalas. They look like Gus.

An otter trying to score a tan. Speaking of which, there are a lot of disgustingly tan people. Meemaws and pop pops tend to have the best leather-skin tans.

Red pandas are one of those animals that would make badass pets. How much would that rule? Waking up with one of these dudes at your feet?

Okapis are tight because they're like part zebra, part... something else.

This was one of those exhibits where people flip their shit and dads knock over other kids and grannies to get a video of the sleeping tigers. Those tigers would like to eat the dads.

Tapirs are fucking weird.

This mandrill was weird because it stared out at all the people the whole time. It makes you wonder what this dude would be thinking if he could, you know, think.

Fucking dinosaur bird, man.

Click on this picture for the larger version and you can see a big male gorilla, which is pretty badass. This was taken from a skytram thing which was cool because you could see the whole park as well as a lot of San Diego.

There was this huge, awful mural outside the Giant Panda exhibit that was borderline racist with squinty-eyed guys and dragons and yin-yangs and shit. It looked like they brought in a bunch of different people to paint pandas and this guy on the left was definitely the best. I may need to appropriate it into a painting.

Oh yeah, the pandas. Umm, there was a 2 hour line because they're like one of a few in zoos in the world. We didn't bother waiting because pandas don't do much. Also, you can watch them online at:

http://www.sandiegozoo.org/pandacam/index.html

Stairway, eeerm, walkway to heaven. This would have been a nice convenience had it taken us somewhere we hadn't already been about five times. kewl.

They make tequila out of agave plants. Tequila makes future Rock of Love contestants.

and in the words of my immortal homie, DRE

...so just chill, until the next episode.